If You Like Being The Boss Don't Have Kids ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

If You Like Being the Boss, Don't Have Kids – ENGRAVED Vintage-Style Wood Sign

● proudly made by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products in Elkhorn, Wisconsin ●
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Do you enjoy calling the shots? Do you bask in the glory of unquestioned authority? Do you revel in making decisions without hearing “But whyyyy?” or “That’s not fair!” from a peanut gallery? Well, my friend, I’ve got news for you: DON’T HAVE KIDS.

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This ENGRAVED wood sign is the perfect gift for parents who thought they were in charge—until they met a tiny, snack-demanding, bedtime-resisting tyrant who refuses to eat the meal they specifically requested. The lettering is carved INTO the wood, just like the deep emotional grooves left by stepping on Legos at 2 AM. Unlike your patience, this sign’s message will never fade, rub off, or disappear.

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What You’re Getting (Besides a Laugh and a Dose of Truth)

✔ Handcrafted – No mass production here! Each sign is lovingly made, one at a time, because, unlike toddlers, I actually listen when someone says, “Just one.”

✔ Heavy Jute Cord for Easy Hanging – So you can display it prominently, perhaps near your coffee station, where you stare blankly every morning, questioning your life choices.

✔ Antique White Base – A charming, vintage look—kind of like you after a sleepless night of kid-induced chaos.

✔ Proudly Made in Elkhorn, Wisconsin – Where the cheese is plentiful, the winters are long, and the humor is necessary.

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Need More Than One?

Planning to gift this to multiple exhausted parents who thought they were going to “run a tight ship”? I can make as many as you need! Just send me a message, and I’ll craft a batch faster than a toddler can destroy a clean living room.

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Want a Custom Version?

Maybe you’d like a different color or font? Maybe you want it to say “If You Like Silence, Don’t Have a Dog” or “If You Like Money, Don’t Have Hobbies.” I can do that! Just reach out, and we’ll make it happen.

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📏 Measurements:

● 3.5” H x 10” W x 3/8” D (6¼” High including the jute cord)

● Weighs about 6 oz—roughly the same as the snacks your kid will refuse and then demand 10 minutes later.

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🎁 Perfect for:

✅ New parents who are still optimistic

✅ Experienced parents who know better

✅ Grandparents who are now laughing at their children’s suffering

✅ Bosses who think parenting is “just about setting rules” (HA!)

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🔥 Get yours today before your little “boss” finds a way to delay your shopping time (again).