If my mouth doesn't say it my face definitely will ~ ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign ~ Read my lips!

If My Mouth Doesn’t Say It, My Face Definitely Will – ENGRAVED Vintage-Style Wooden Sign

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💀 For those who mastered the art of silent judgment! 💀

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Tired of explaining yourself? Wish people would just read the room (or better yet, your face)? Well, friend, you’re in luck! This engraved wooden sign does all the talking so you don’t have to. Whether you're gifting this to a delightfully sassy loved one or just hanging it up as a warning to the clueless masses, this masterpiece is guaranteed to get the point across—no words (or excessive eye rolls) required.

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Why You NEED This Sign in Your Life:

✅ Engraved, Not Printed! – Unlike your patience, the lettering on this sign will never fade! This isn’t some flimsy, printed nonsense. The words are carved deep into the wood like the eternal disappointment on your face.

✅ Vintage Charm, Timeless Sass – The Antique White finish makes it classy, while the message keeps it spicy. It’s like your grandma’s fine china—if your grandma had a habit of throwing side-eye.

✅ Easy Hanging! – Comes with a heavy jute cord, so you can effortlessly display your attitude on any wall, door, or unsuspecting victim’s forehead (not recommended, but hey, you do you).

✅ Made in Elkhorn, Wisconsin! – Crafted one at a time by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products (a name as smooth as our craftsmanship). No mass-produced soulless factory signs here! You’re getting something uniquely made with love, sweat, and maybe a little sarcasm.

✅ Customization Available! – Want a different font? A different color? A sign that says “I Told You So” for your spouse? Message me! I’ll make you something just as snarky, but uniquely you.

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Specifications (Because Details Matter, Apparently):

📏 Size: 3.5”H x 10”W x 3/8”D (or 6¼” high with the jute cord—math, am I right?)

⚖️ Weight: Approx. 6 oz. (Lighter than your emotional baggage!)

🎨 Color: Antique White (because calling it "Off-White" just felt… off.)

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The Perfect Gift For:

✔️ Your brutally honest best friend

✔️ The coworker who visibly hates Zoom meetings

✔️ Your mom, who’s had it up to here

✔️ The person who’s mastered the subtle art of eyebrow communication

✔️ Yourself (because let’s be real, this is YOUR vibe)

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How to Order:

🛒 Click that "Add to Cart" button before someone else with the same level of sarcasm beats you to it! Need more than one? Message me—I’ll make as many as you need (because some people really need the hint).

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🎁 Warning: This sign may cause an increase in smirks, chuckles, and knowing nods from visitors. It may also result in fewer unwanted conversations. (You’re welcome!)

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Get yours today, and let your resting judgment face do all the talking! 😏