I Don't Trust Children They're Here To Replace Us ~ ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

I Don't Trust Children – They're Here to Replace Us!

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🔪 Okay, not literally… but have you ever noticed how short they are? Sneaky. Too sneaky.

Are you suspicious of those pint-sized plotters? Ever caught a toddler giving you a side-eye like they know something? Then this ENGRAVED vintage-look wooden sign is just the thing for your home, office, or top-secret anti-replacement bunker.

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Why You Need This Sign (Before It's Too Late)

✔️ Permanent Warning! The lettering is engraved deep into the wood, so it’ll never fade, rub off, or be erased by tiny, sticky hands attempting to cover their tracks.

✔️ Easy to Hang! A sturdy jute cord is attached, making it simple to display anywhere—your home, your workspace, or the nursery (if you like living on the edge).

✔️ Handmade Perfection! Each sign is lovingly made one at a time, so no mass production—just good ol’ handmade craftsmanship (unlike children, which seem to be mass-produced everywhere).

✔️ Customizable! Want a different color? A different font? A secret message to warn future generations? I got you—just send me a message!

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Product Details (For the Adults Who Read the Fine Print)

📏 Size: 3.5" H x 10" W x 3/8" D (about 6¼" high with the jute cord)

⚖ Weight: Approximately 6 oz (light enough to carry if you need to make a quick getaway)

🎨 Base Color: Antique White (because nothing says "vintage warning" like a little aged elegance)

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Perfect Gift For:

🎁 Parents who have seen Toy Story and now have questions

🎁 Teachers who know the kids are up to something

🎁 Grandparents who have already been replaced but haven’t figured it out yet

🎁 That one friend who keeps saying, “They’re getting smarter…”

🎁 Yourself—because let’s be honest, you know what’s happening.

So go ahead—order now before they learn how to shop online. 🛒

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Made with childish pride by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products, Elkhorn, Wisconsin
👀 Need more than one? Message me—I’ll make sure you’re stocked up for the inevitable takeover. 🫣