Raising Children Is Part Joy And Part Guerilla Warfare ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

Raising Children: Part Joy, Part Guerrilla Warfare – Engraved Wooden Sign

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🚨 WARNING: PARENTING AHEAD! 🚨

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Do you wake up every morning unsure if today will bring sweet snuggles or a full-scale mutiny? Do you find yourself negotiating bedtime like a hostage situation? Are you constantly stepping on landmines (aka LEGOs) in the dead of night? If so, congratulations! You’re deep in the trenches of parenthood, and this sign is for YOU.

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This ENGRAVED wooden sign perfectly sums up the rollercoaster that is raising tiny humans—part heartwarming joy, part tactical survival. Unlike your patience, the lettering on this sign WILL NEVER FADE because it’s carved into the wood. That means no amount of spilled juice, tantrum-induced toy hurling, or mystery sticky fingers can erase these words of wisdom!

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FEATURES:

✔ Durable & Battle-Tested – Okay, maybe not battle-tested, but it is solid wood and built to last longer than your toddler’s interest in that expensive toy they just HAD to have.

✔ Timeless Look – The antique white finish pairs perfectly with farmhouse, rustic, modern, or “decorated-by-whatever-hasn’t-been-broken-yet” home aesthetics.

✔ Easy to Hang – Comes with a heavy jute cord, because let’s be real, you don’t have time for complicated wall-mounting when someone’s drawing on the walls with permanent marker.

✔ Handmade with Love (and Coffee) – Each sign is crafted one at a time, just like the gray hairs parenting gives you. Need more than one? Let me know, and I’ll make as many as you need!

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SPECIFICATIONS:

📏 Size: 3.5” H x 10” W x 3/8” D (6¼” H with the jute cord)

⚖ Weight: Approx. 6 oz – lighter than a diaper bag but heavier than your willpower to resist snacks after the kids go to bed.

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CUSTOM ORDERS WELCOME!

Want it in a different color? Different font? Want me to engrave something else, like “Silence Is Suspicious” or “Alexa, Raise My Kids”? I got you! Message me for custom orders.

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🎁 GIFT IDEA ALERT! 🎁

Perfect for parents, new moms and dads, grandparents, teachers, babysitters, or anyone who has ever had to say, “Because I said so!”

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📦 SHIPPING:

Carefully packaged so it arrives intact—unlike that cereal bowl your kid just launched off the table.

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💡 Final Thoughts:

Parenting is a wild ride, but at least you can decorate your home with a little humor. Add this sign to your cart before your kid finds you hiding in the pantry with a sleeve of cookies! 🍪

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Another parental warning from Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products of Elkhorn, Wisconsin.