Everybody Knows How To Raise A Child Except Those That Have Them ~ ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

Everybody Knows How To Raise A Child Except Those That Have Them – ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

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🚸 Because Parenting Advice is Free, But Babysitting Costs Extra! 🚸

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Do you ever feel like the world is full of expert parents... until they actually have kids? Yeah, me too. That’s why this ENGRAVED wooden sign exists—to remind us all that unsolicited advice is as abundant as toddler tantrums in the cereal aisle.

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🔨 Handmade, Just Like Your Excuses for Being Late to School Pickup 🔨

Unlike some signs that have their wisdom merely printed or painted on (ahem like the "rules" your kids conveniently forget), this sign’s lettering is engraved deep into the wood—so it won’t rub off, fade, or be erased by the sticky hands of a curious three-year-old.

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🧵 Hangs Easily – No Parenting Manual Required! 🧵

Comes with a heavy-duty jute cord for easy hanging, whether you display it in your living room, nursery, or right above your coffee maker (because caffeine is the real MVP of parenting).

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🎨 Stylish and Sarcastic – The Perfect Decor Combo 🎨

With an antique white base, this sign has that perfect vintage farmhouse aesthetic—like something Joanna Gaines would approve of, if only it came with shiplap.

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📏 Measurements (Because Size Does Matter!) 📏

✔ 3.5" High x 10" Wide x 3/8" Thick (or 6¼” high if you count the jute cord, which we do because details matter—unless you’re a toddler describing how much they ate for dinner)

✔ Weighs approximately 6 oz (lighter than your diaper bag but just as essential)

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🎁 The Ultimate Gift for Parents, Grandparents, Teachers, and That One Friend Who Swears They’d “Totally Do Things Differently” 🎁

Give it as a baby shower gift, a housewarming present, or just keep it for yourself—because laughter (and caffeine) is sometimes the only thing keeping parents sane.

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💬 Need More Than One? A Custom Order? 💬

I make these one at a time, just like the universe makes firstborn children into bossy know-it-alls. If you need multiple signs or want a different font or color, send me a message faster than your toddler can disappear when it’s time to put on shoes.

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💥 Click "Add to Cart" Before Your Toddler Asks "Why?" for the 287th Time Today! 💥