I Have Neither The Time Nor The Crayons To Explain This To You ~ ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

"I Have Neither The Time Nor The Crayons To Explain This To You" ~ ENGRAVED Vintage-Look Wood Sign
________________________________________

🎨 For When Patience Isn’t Your Strong Suit

Listen, life’s too short, and some things are just too ridiculous to explain. Whether it’s a mind-boggling question like “Why don’t they just print more money?” or a comment so absurd it makes you stare blankly into the abyss, this sign is here to step in. Consider it your personal assistant in delivering a healthy dose of sarcasm and self-preservation.

It’s witty, it’s direct, and it lets people know you’re officially off-duty from providing crayons, patience, or both.
________________________________________

📏 Product Details: The Sign That Gets It (So You Don’t Have To)

● Dimensions: 3.5” H x 10” W x 3/8” D (6¼” high with the jute cord, because yes, we’re that specific).

● Weight: A lightweight 6 ounces—perfect for hanging without straining your wall or your last nerve.

● Material: Real wood with engraved lettering—no cheap stickers or flimsy paint here. This sign will hold up better than your ability to explain obvious concepts to clueless people.
________________________________________

✨ Features That Make This Sign a Must-Have:

● Antique White Base: Adds an air of sophistication to your sarcasm. After all, if you’re going to be salty, why not do it with a touch of class?

● Heavy Jute Cord: Durable enough to hang anywhere—your office, your kitchen, or even above the coffee maker for those pre-caffeine interactions.

● ENGRAVED Lettering: The message is carved directly into the wood, ensuring it outlasts both trends and your patience.
________________________________________

🎁 Who Will Love This Sign?

1. The Sarcastic Genius: For that friend who can deliver a cutting remark faster than most people can form a sentence. They’ll appreciate a sign that speaks fluent exasperation.

2. The Overworked and Underpaid: Whether it’s a teacher explaining fractions to kids who think pizza is its own food group or an office worker tired of the “Reply All” email guy, this sign is a sanctuary for the over-it.

3. Yourself (Of Course): If you’ve ever found yourself wondering how some people made it this far in life without knowing how zippers work, this sign belongs on your wall.
________________________________________

🤲 Made with Love, Sarcasm, and a Dash of Exhaustion:

Each sign is made by hand in my cozy workshop, which means every piece is unique—just like the bizarre conversations that inspired it. Need more than one? No problem! I’ll happily make a whole batch for you, so you can spread the sass around like confetti.
________________________________________

🎨 Customize Your Snark:

Want a different color? A different font? A completely unrelated phrase, like “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys” or “Yes, I’m Listening, But No, I Don’t Care”? Message me, and I’ll whip up a custom order just for you. Because while I can’t explain everything, I can definitely make your vision come to life.
________________________________________

📌 Where to Hang This Work of Art:

1. Your Office: Because Karen in accounting needs to see this every time she asks why the printer isn’t working.

2. Your Kitchen: For those moments when someone opens the fridge, stares into the void, and then asks if there’s anything to eat.

3. The Classroom: Teachers, this sign is your new best friend. Put it up once, and let it do the heavy lifting when a student asks for the 12th time if they really need to show their work.

4. The Entryway: Let visitors know right away that they’ve entered a judgment-free zone—as long as they bring snacks and common sense.
________________________________________

🛒 Why This Sign Belongs in Your Cart:

● You’ve Got Better Things to Do: Like watching your favorite show, enjoying some peace and quiet, or simply not explaining things that shouldn’t need explaining.

● It’s a Conversation Starter: The kind of conversation where you nod silently and point to the sign.
________________________________________

🌟 Bonus Humor Tips:

● Pair this sign with a box of crayons for the ultimate passive-aggressive gift.

● Place it above your Wi-Fi router to preempt any “Why isn’t the internet working?” questions.

● Give it to a new parent—because they’re going to need it once the toddler stage hits.
________________________________________

🛒 Click Add to Cart Now!

You don’t have to explain yourself anymore. Let this sassy, handcrafted sign do the talking—because life’s too short for crayons and even shorter for nonsense.
________________________________________

Ships fast from my workshop to your wall, sarcasm included at no extra charge!