I Live In A Madhouse Run By A Tiny Army That I Made Myself ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

I Live In A Madhouse Run By A Tiny Army That I Made Myself – Engraved Wood Sign

A heartfelt tribute to the chaos you willingly signed up for.

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Congratulations! You’ve built your own personal asylum, complete with pint-sized tyrants who demand snacks, refuse naps, and negotiate bedtime like high-stakes diplomats. Now, commemorate your questionable life choices with this handcrafted, vintage-look engraved wood sign!

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🛠 Handmade with Love (and a Little Resentment):

Each sign is lovingly (read: with a deep sigh and a strong cup of coffee) crafted by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products in the scenic land of Elkhorn, Wisconsin. Unlike your patience, the lettering on this sign WILL NEVER FADE, because it is engraved deep into the wood – just like your exhaustion.

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🎨 Vintage Look, Timeless Truth:

This beauty comes in a soft Antique White, the perfect color to complement your décor, whether it’s “farmhouse chic” or “I gave up on cleaning three years ago.” If you’d like a different color or font, message me—I’ll happily customize it (because we all know you need at least some control over something in your life).

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📏 The Perfect Size:

3.5” H x 10” W x 3/8” D (That’s about the size of a single sock that somehow made it out of the dryer alone.)

With the jute cord, the height extends to 6¼”—just enough to remind you of the good ol’ days before you had to share everything with your tiny overlords.

Approx. 6 oz. (Lighter than your guilt for letting them have extra screen time.)

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🎁 Gift Idea!

Know someone who needs this? Of course you do. This sign makes the perfect gift for:

✅ Parents drowning in toys and sticky fingerprints

✅ Grandparents who thought they were done but got pulled back in

✅ Teachers who have seen it ALL and deserve a medal (or at least a sign)

✅ Babysitters, nannies, or literally anyone who deals with small humans daily

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🛒 Ordering Info:

One at a time, just like your sanity is slipping away! If you need more than one, message me, and I’ll whip up a batch faster than your kid can say, “I don’t like this dinner.”

Each sign comes with a sturdy jute cord for easy hanging—because, let’s be honest, you don’t have time to mess with complicated décor.

Custom Orders? Absolutely! Want a different color or font? Just ask. I’m more flexible than your toddler when they suddenly don’t want to wear shoes.

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✨ Add to Cart Before You Forget Why You Walked Into the Room in the First Place!