I Just Burned 2000 Calories Trying To Avoid Someone I Know At Walmart ~ ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

I Just Burned 2000 Calories Trying To Avoid Someone I Know At Walmart – ENGRAVED Vintage Look Wood Sign

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Are you looking for a home décor piece that perfectly captures the essence of modern fitness (a.k.a. strategically dodging acquaintances in the snack aisle)? Look no further! This handcrafted, ENGRAVED wooden sign brings the perfect blend of humor, charm, and just a sprinkle of social anxiety to any space.

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🏋️‍♂️💨 BURN CALORIES WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT! 💨🏋️‍♂️

No gym membership required—just the sheer determination to avoid small talk with someone from high school, your neighbor who borrows everything, or that distant cousin who definitely has a pyramid scheme to pitch you.

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🥖 FOOD, FITNESS & FUNNY BUSINESS 🏃‍♂️

Whether you’re on a diet, off a diet, or currently using “diet” as a verb (as in “I’m gonna diet… tomorrow”), this sign is your kindred spirit. It’s shabby chic meets snack attack, making it the perfect décor for kitchens, dining rooms, home gyms (or just the treadmill that doubles as a clothes rack).

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🖋 ENGRAVED FOR ETERNITY:

Unlike your willpower around fresh-baked cookies, this sign’s lettering won’t fade, rub off, or mysteriously disappear like that gym membership you keep meaning to cancel. Each word is carved directly into the wood, ensuring the humor lasts longer than your last attempt at a juice cleanse.

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📌 DETAILS THAT MATTER (UNLIKE CALORIES, WHICH DEFINITELY DON'T):

✔ Size: 3.5"H x 10"W x 3/8"D (6¼” High with the Jute cord—because presentation matters!)

✔ Color: Antique White (a shade as timeless as your love for carbs)

✔ Material: Real wood (not that imitation stuff—because you deserve the best)

✔ Hanging: Comes with a sturdy jute cord (so you don’t have to find a hammer at the bottom of the junk drawer)

✔ Weight: Approx. 6 oz. (light enough to move if your guilt over skipping the gym sets in)

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🎁 THE PERFECT GIFT FOR:

🍕 Food lovers

💪 Fitness enthusiasts (or fitness avoiders)

💘 That special someone who loves you despite your occasional snack-fueled mood swings

😂 Anyone who knows the art of strategic grocery store avoidance

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🛒 CUSTOM ORDERS WELCOME!

Want a different font? Different color? A personalized excuse for why you "accidentally" left your running shoes at home? Just shoot me a message—I make these one at a time with care (and probably a snack break in between).

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Handmade with love, laughter, and a dash of sarcasm by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products in Elkhorn, Wisconsin.

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🔥 Order now before someone you know sees this listing and you have to pretend you didn’t! 🔥