I Hate When I See An Old Person Then Realize We Went To High School Together – ENGRAVED Shelf Sitter ~ Old Farts

Let’s face it—aging is weird. One day, you're skipping school to go cruise around with your friends, and the next, you're standing in the grocery store, staring at some gray-haired, slightly hunched-over person, thinking, Wow, they must have seen some things. And then it hits you—you went to high school with them.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Cue the existential crisis, cue the sudden urge to check for new wrinkles, cue the desperate need for a stiff drink (or at least a good sit-down).

That's why we at Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products (located in the fine town of Elkhorn, Wisconsin—known for its cheese, charm, and the occasional midlife crisis) have crafted this hilariously accurate shelf sitter to remind you that yes, time is marching on… and unfortunately, it’s wearing combat boots.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

🎭 THE PAINFULLY FUNNY DETAILS 🎭

✔ Size: 2.5” x 7” x .5” – small enough to fit on a shelf, big enough to remind you of the passage of time.

✔ Weight: 4 ounces – lighter than your will to accept aging gracefully.

✔ Material: Engraved MDF – because we believe words should be permanently engraved into things, just like our youthful memories.

✔ Design: Precision laser-engraved, so the text is crisp, clean, and easy to read—even if your eyesight isn’t what it used to be.

✔ Freestanding: No nails, glue, or complicated assembly required (because, let’s be real, we have zero patience for that nonsense now).

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

🎁 WHO NEEDS THIS IN THEIR LIFE?

✔ You. Because you’ve already thought, “Wow, this is too real.”

✔ Your best friend. The one who just had their first “Wait… how am I the oldest person in this room?” moment.

✔ Your sibling. Because if you have to come to terms with aging, so do they.

✔ Your co-worker. Especially if they just uttered, “These kids today…” unironically.

✔ That friend from high school. You know the one—the one who was always so cool and now is posting cryptic Facebook statuses about back pain.

✔ Your reunion committee. Because nothing sets the tone for a 40th high school reunion quite like this harsh but hilarious reality check.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

🎯 WHERE TO DISPLAY THIS BEAUTY?

✔ On your bookshelf. Right next to your reading glasses and that book you swore you’d finish last summer.

✔ On your office desk. A daily reminder to keep fighting the good fight (with coffee and ibuprofen).

✔ By the bathroom mirror. So you can roll your eyes at it every morning while checking for new gray hairs.

✔ On the mantle. Because family photos are great, but let’s be honest—this is way funnier.

✔ Near your stash of snacks. Because at this stage, comfort food is a necessity.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

💡 THE REALITY CHECK YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED 💡

Aging is inevitable—but laughing about it? That’s a choice. Whether you’re embracing the march of time with grace and wisdom (yeah, right) or just trying to make peace with the fact that your knees now make weird noises, this shelf sitter will bring a much-needed dose of humor to your daily routine.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Proudly designed and crafted by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products, where we take sarcasm, nostalgia, and the occasional midlife meltdown and turn them into top-tier home décor.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

So go ahead—add this to your cart before you forget why you came here. It’s the perfect reminder that aging may be inevitable, but at least we can still laugh about it.