I Used To Have A Life But My Dog Ate It ~ ENGRAVED SHELF SITTER ~ A Comedy Piece for Dog Lovers!

Item Details:

🐶 Size: 2.5" x 7" x .5"

🐶 Weight: A whopping 4 ounces of pure heartfelt humor!

🐶 Material: Fancy schmancy MDF (because obviously, “My Dog Ate It” deserved the posh treatment)

🐶 Proudly crafted by: Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products (because no dog-eaten life story is complete without a touch of Wisconsin craftsmanship!)

🐶 Location: Elkhorn, Wisconsin – Home to friendly folks and dazzling doggos.

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Description:

Are you a dog parent tired of pretending you lead a fulfilling, 100% not dog-oriented life? Have you found yourself knee-deep in fur and half-chewed squeaky toys, wondering where your pre-dog existence went?

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🎭 Fear not, for we have the perfect remedy!

Introducing the “I Used To Have A Life But My Dog Ate It” Engraved Shelf Sitter! This charming little piece of art is the ideal way to acknowledge your very enthusiastic pooch’s ability to consume your sanity and any hint of a social life. Who needs brunch with friends when you can stay home in your pajamas and watch your dog reenact the entire plot of “Finding Nemo” using just a single sock?

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Crafted with MDF that’s sturdier than your resolve to leave the house without a dog on your heels, this shelf sitter is the perfect conversation starter! (Or, technically, a life-ender—depending on your social circle.) It proudly displays a message that resonates with those of us who have fully embraced the dog life while waving a teary-eyed farewell to our former lives.

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Features That’ll Have You Barking with Laughter:

✨ Perfect Size: At just 2.5" x 7", it’s the ideal size to sit smugly on your desk, shelf, or anywhere else you want to remind unsuspecting visitors of your embarrassing secret: you’ve traded your social life for daily dog naps.

✨ Weight & Balance: At only 4 ounces, it’ll rock back and forth humorously if anyone dares to question your dog parenting commitment. “What’s that? You think you saw Karen at the bar last week? Oh, sweetie, that was just a tragic case of mistaken identity.”

✨ Engraving: We’ve engraved this absolute gem into the MDF, guaranteeing it won't fade, wear out, or, let’s be honest, get eaten by your active little fur nugget.

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Whimsical Punchlines on the Side:

● “If I could ask my dog if they’re sorry for chewing up my will to live, they’d say, ‘Will you throw me a tennis ball instead?’” 🎾

● “Remember, the grass is always greener where the dog is currently taking a nap!” 🌱

● “Just because I’m wearing sweatpants does NOT mean I’m not stylish. I like to call this ‘casually chic canine chaos.’” 😎

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Why You Need This Shelf Sitter:

Because let’s face it, if your dog can eat your social calendar, your dignity, and that weird fruitcake your Aunt Susan sent you last Christmas, they can definitely handle this little piece of artistry too! Judge less, laugh more, and embrace the chaos with an engraved MDF reminder that life may change but hey, at least you’ve got a furry best friend by your side.

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Disclaimer: This shelf sitter may induce fits of uncontrollable laughter, a sudden urge to find your dog and spoil them with treats, and an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the joy they bring you (and the willingness to forgive them for eating your life… at least a little).

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Grab one today, and remember, the more you embrace the chaos, the less likely you’ll miss that sad day in your previous life when you thought brunch could solve all your problems! 🥂✨

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Order now, and together let’s toast to the best un-life decisions you’ve ever made! 🐾🥳