Patience What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses ~ ENGRAVED SHELF SITTER ~ Amazingly Accurate

Description

Ever found yourself gripping the steering wheel so tightly that it might just fuse with your hands because the person in front of you is driving like they’re being paid per minute? Or maybe you’ve smiled so hard through a family gathering that your face is permanently stuck in a stiff, forced smile that hides how you really feel? Congratulations—you have patience! Well, at least when people are watching.

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This hilarious engraved MDF shelf sitter serves as the perfect reminder that the only thing standing between you and a truly unfiltered moment is the presence of witnesses. Because let's be honest, if patience was unlimited, we wouldn’t need coffee, deep breaths, or alibis.

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✨ Features:

✔ Premium Engraved MDF – Because nothing says "I’m holding it together" like classy engraved wood.

✔ Compact & Lightweight – Measuring in at a reasonable 2.5" x 7" x .5", it’s small enough to fit anywhere but big enough to send a message.

✔ Hilariously Honest – Perfect for your office, kitchen, or anywhere you need a little reminder that self-restraint is a virtue (especially when cameras are around).

✔ Handcrafted in the USA – Straight outta Elkhorn, Wisconsin by the fine folks at Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products (where we specialize in turning passive-aggressive wisdom into home décor).

✔ Perfect Gift – Ideal for anyone who has ever bitten their tongue so hard it should qualify as a workout.

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Where to Put It?

■ At your desk – So your coworkers understand why you haven't flipped the table yet.

■ By the front door – A gentle reminder to smile and wave before facing the world.

■ In the kitchen – Next to the coffee maker, because caffeine is often the only thing standing between you and a felony.

■ On your bookshelf – Right next to that self-help book you swear you’ll read someday.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

❓ Is this sign sturdy?
Absolutely! It’s lightweight yet strong—kind of like your willpower at a family gathering.

❓ Will this help me become a more patient person?
No, but it will at least remind you why you haven’t lost it yet.

❓ Can I get it in another size?
We could make a billboard-sized version, but that would send the wrong message to the authorities. Realistically, the next size up is 3.5" x 10".

❓ Is it handmade?
Yep! Made right here in Elkhorn, Wisconsin, where patience is tested daily by Midwestern politeness and unpredictable weather.

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🎁 Great for:

■ Friends who somehow still work in customer service.

■ Your favorite sarcastic coworker.

■ Anyone who’s been one inconvenience away from losing it.

■ Yourself, because let’s be real—you’ve earned it.

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Order Now Before You Run Out of Patience!

Add it to your cart now and enjoy knowing that at least one thing in your life will remind you to take a deep breath before making the evening news.