Heaven This Way ~ ENGRAVED Self Sitter ~ No GPS Required!

Heaven This Way → No GPS Required!

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

💫 Tired of getting lost on the road to righteousness? Confused about whether to take the stairway to heaven or the escalator of enlightenment? Worry no more! Our "Heaven This Way" engraved MDF shelf sitter is here to point you in the right direction—because celestial navigation should be easier than finding decent customer service these days.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Proudly designed and crafted by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products in scenic Elkhorn, Wisconsin (where we are probably on the VIP list for the pearly gates).

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

📏 Divine Specs:

✔ Size: 2.5" x 7" x 0.5" (small but mighty, like a choir of chipmunks)

✔ Weight: A heavenly 4 ounces (lighter than your conscience after confessing to stealing that last donut)

✔ Material: High-quality MDF—because real wood trees deserve to live long and prosper

✔ Engraving: Precision engraved lettering so crisp, even an angelic choir would harmonize in approval

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

🙌 Holy Features & Benefits:

✅ Eternal Guidance – Never again wonder if you’re headed in the right direction (spiritually or otherwise).

✅ No Batteries Required – Unlike some faith-based GPS units, this sign never loses signal.

✅ Sits & Points Like a Saint – Perfect for shelves, mantels, desks, or anywhere that could use a little divine intervention.

✅ Handcrafted by the Best (Us!) – Made with care, humor, and a deep respect for all things punny.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

🏡 Where to Display This Piece of Heaven?

Right next to your Wi-Fi router for divine connection

Above the coffee maker (because caffeine is a spiritual experience)

In your home office—reminding you that the daily grind is not the afterlife

By the door, so guests know where to aim their prayers before entering

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

😇 What Our Customers Say:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "I followed the sign, and now I have a permanent reservation on a cloud. Highly recommend!" – Gabe A.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "It’s a sign! No, really. It’s a sign. And a great one at that!" – Jose T.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "Tried to use it as a GPS in my car. Didn’t work, but it looks great on my bookshelf!" – Pete S.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

🚀 Holy Fast Shipping!

We ship this divine decor faster than you can say, “Hallelujah!” Your package will arrive before you can start questioning your life choices (again).

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

So, go ahead—add this "Heaven This Way" shelf sitter to your cart before judgment day (or, at the very least, before it sells out)!

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

🙏 Bless your home with some humor, heavenly guidance, and a touch of Wisconsin craftsmanship!