It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk ~ ENGRAVED SHELF SITTER ~ Silence Is Golden

It’s No Coincidence That Man’s Best Friend Cannot Talk – 2.5” x 7” x .5” MDF Shelf Sitter
🐶💬 Yup, Silence is Golden, Especially with Dogs! 💬🐶

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Ever had a conversation with your dog and thought, “Wow, if you could talk, my secrets would be ruined”? Well, congratulations, you’re not alone! Lucky for us all, dogs can’t gossip, critique our questionable fashion choices, or remind us how many times we’ve opened the fridge today. And now, you can immortalize that blessed reality with this finely routed (not some fancy laser job!) MDF shelf sitter from Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products—the finest purveyor of handcrafted wit and wisdom in Elkhorn, Wisconsin.

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🏆 Features (Because Details Matter)

✔ Size: A perfectly compact 2.5” x 7” x .5” – just the right dimensions to fit on your shelf, desk, or wherever you need a daily reminder that your dog’s silence is, indeed, a blessing.

✔ Material: High-quality engraved MDF – because real humor deserves real craftsmanship.

✔ Weight: A feathery 4 ounces, light enough to move around easily, but heavy enough that your dog won’t eat it (probably).

✔ Color: Natural MDF tones with deep, routed lettering – because class never goes out of style.

✔ Proudly Made in the USA 🇺🇸 – right in Elkhorn, Wisconsin, where sarcasm and craftsmanship go hand in hand.

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🐾 Why You Need This (Even If You Don’t Know It Yet)

🐕 You talk to your dog way too much, and you need an excuse to laugh at yourself.

🐕 Your dog knows too much but, thank goodness, can’t spill the beans.

🐕 It’s the perfect gift for dog lovers, pet parents, or anyone who’s ever whispered “don’t judge me” to a Golden Retriever.

🐕 Let’s be honest—this is way funnier than a generic “Live, Laugh, Love” sign.

🐕 Your dog can’t read, but if they could, they’d totally approve.

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🎁 The Perfect Gift for:

🐶 Dog owners who overshare (you know who you are).

🐶 Sarcastic pet lovers who appreciate humor as dry as their dog’s kibble.

🐶 That friend who already has everything but still needs one more sign in their life.

🐶 Your vet, dog walker, or trainer—because they probably wish dogs were the only ones who couldn’t talk.

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💡 Pro tip: Place it near the dog’s bed, on your desk, or right by the snacks as a daily reminder of how blessed we are that Fido can’t file a formal complaint about the number of times we fake-throw the ball.

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✈️ Shipping & Other Important Stuff

📦 Shipped with care from Elkhorn, Wisconsin (yes, that’s a real place).

📦 Securely packaged so it arrives looking as sharp as your dog’s judgmental side-eye.

📦 Orders processed quickly—because we know you need this now.

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🔨 Handcrafted with love, humor, and sawdust by Parch-Mint Premium Wood Products – where we take woodwork seriously, but never ourselves.

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So, go ahead—add to cart before your dog starts questioning your life choices (silently, of course). 🛒🐾

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