US Coast Guard Spouse of USCG Active Member or Veteran ~ Engraved Shelf Sitter ~ ~ 2.5" x 7" MDF ~ Launch It Like A Lifeboat!

🛟 Coast Guard Spouse Shelf Sitter – Semper Paratus, Even Without a Plan! 🛟
“I didn’t join the Coast Guard, I just married into the mayhem!”

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Shoutout to the real MVPs of the homefront—the ones holding it all together while their Coastie partner is out saving lives, inspecting vessels, or being voluntold to run a community 5K. Whether you're juggling the kids, holding down the fort during hurricane season, or just trying to find decent Wi-Fi at your latest duty station, you’ve earned this Coast Guard Spouse Shelf Sitter like a promotion you weren’t told was coming.

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Measuring 2.5" x 7" x .5", this spunky little sign is a tribute to your flexibility, humor, strength, and uncanny ability to cook dinner during a power outage while handling a last-minute PCS notice. Crafted from durable MDF, not wood, and finished in antique white with a gently textured surface, it’s made for life on the move—just like you!

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⚓ Why This Shelf Sitter Should Be in Your Quarters

✔ Sized for Life at Sea (or Wherever They Send You) – At just 2.5" x 7", it’s compact enough to move with you, no matter how many times “home” gets rerouted.

✔ MDF Material That Won’t Flake—Just Like You – Medium-density fiberboard that’s stronger than your coffee on deployment day and totally not bothered by humidity, cranky movers, or questionable base housing paint.

✔ Routed Engraving That Lasts Longer Than Shore Duty – No stickers. No peeling. Just clean, classic engraved letters ready to withstand everything but sea spray (and even then, probably fine).

✔ Textured Antique White Finish – Goes with everything from “nautical farmhouse” to “whatever furniture survived the last move.”

✔ Coast Guard Spouse Vibes Included – Because let’s be real—you are always ready. Even when you weren’t warned.

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🛟 For the Spouse Who:

🛋️ Moved three times in two years and now unpacks with military precision

🚨 Can pack a go-bag for a hurricane while making school lunches

📦 Knows the exact dimensions of every Coast Guard-issued moving box

📞 Has done 90% of the planning for your last 3 PCS moves with no notice

⚓ Smiles politely while civilians say, “Oh, that’s like the Navy, right?”

🥇 Can go from base social butterfly to solo-parenting ninja in under 10 seconds

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🎁 Perfect for the Spouse Who Deserves a Laugh (and a Nap)

🛟 New Coast Guard Spouse just learning the ropes? This is your welcome gift to reality.

🛟 Seasoned Coastie Spouse with 10 moves and a thousand acronyms under your belt? You've earned it.

🛟 Perfect deployment countdown shelf accessory – Add next to the calendar and stash of stress snacks.

🛟 Gift it to your spouse-friend who’s "totally fine, it’s just another unexpected TDY."

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💡 Display Ideas

● Right by the coffee pot. Because you know.

● On your desk, next to your “to-do before the next move” list.

● On a shelf with your PCS survival binder, emergency chocolate stash, and unopened boxes from two states ago.

● By the front door, where you always keep the “We’re fine, everything’s fine” smile ready for neighbors.

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🛒 Order Now, Before You Get Surprise Orders Again!

📦 Fast shipping – Because we know timing is everything (and the CG rarely gives you much of it).

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💬 Want a name, rank, or base added? Message us! We’ll customize it faster than you can say “we’re moving—again.”

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Click “Add to Cart” now and show the world that behind every mission-ready Coastie is a spouse with duct tape, snacks, and a perfectly labeled Tupperware drawer.

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Semper Paratus, Spouses. You’re the calm in the storm, the anchor in the chaos, and the reason the homefront stays afloat. 🇺🇸⚓🛟

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